PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION WITH NKECHI

 “Wisdom is not in talking plenty, but in hearing well.” Most people believe they are good communicators because they talk often. Very few ask a harder question: Do I listen well enough to understand, or only to respond? Love does not break down because people stop talking. It breaks down because people stop listening with intent. Listening is not passive. It is an active skill. And in love, it is one of the most demanding skills to master. Why Talking Feels Easier Than Listening Talking gives a sense of control. You get to shape the narrative, defend your position, and assert your needs.  Listening, on the other hand, requires restraint. It requires curiosity. It requires setting aside your ego long enough to enter another person’s inner world. Many of us were raised in environments where listening was selective. Children were told to listen, but adults were rarely modelled listening. Conversations were hierarchical, not mutual. So we grew up knowing how to speak,...

Nigerian proverb: “Love does not sit idle; it works with the hands.” There is a quiet crisis in how we talk about love today. We talk about how it feels, how it excites us, how it overwhelms us, and sometimes how it disappoints us.  We rarely talk about how it is practiced. From movies to social media, love is sold as chemistry.  Butterflies.  Passion.  Effortless connection.  When those feelings dip, panic sets in.  People begin to ask dangerous questions.  Have I fallen out of love?  Did I marry the wrong person?  Is something wrong with me? In many African cultures, those questions were not the starting point of marriage.  Elders did not ask couples if they felt butterflies.  They asked if they were ready. Ready to learn patience.  Ready to work through conflict. Ready to take responsibility for another human being. That wisdom matters now more than ever. Love is not sustained by emotion alone. Emotions fluctuate...

I woke up by 2 a.m. Not the restless kind of waking where you toss and turn. This one was gentle but firm, like a nudge on the shoulder.  My eyes opened, my heart alert, my body calm. I knew what it was. It was time to pray. So I sat up in bed, still wrapped in the quiet of the night, and I talked to God the way I always do.  Honestly.  Simply.  No big grammar.  No long speeches.  Just me and Him. “Lord, what is the word for February?” It was the first day of the month. I wanted direction.  Not a goal.  Not a plan.  A word. Something to anchor my spirit. Almost immediately, in my mind’s eye, I saw one word. Alignment. Clear.  Bold.  Unmistakable. I paused.  Let it sit.  Let it sink. Then I did something funny. Out of curiosity, half play, half disbelief, I picked up my phone, opened ChatGPT, and typed: What’s the word for me this month? I wasn’t expecting much. I certainly wasn’t expecting what came next. The r...