DEALING WITH RUMINATION

 

I was badly triggered in a work group , the ridicule and insinuation was traumatizing, my brain captured the incidence and kept replaying it over and over again to a point I couldn't sleep and even lost appetite.

 I couldn't seem to get the incidence or what they said out of  my head even when I didn't want to  remember it. It was so intrusive and controlling, the more I remembered the incidence the angrier I became , I knew I was hurting deeply but couldn't get rid of the incidence off my head , that's an example of what RUMINATION IS ALL ABOUT.

RUMINATION is persistent and repetitive thinking or dwelling on  negative thoughts or incidences and the distress , the causes and the consequences over and over again spanning days and weeks .

Its like playing a particular music and its on repeat for hours and days, what do you think happens to your mind during this period? Your guess is as good as mine , so if its an inspirational song it will lift your mood and energize you but if its a dark gloomy song , it will deflate your confidence and  drain you mentally, this is how disruptive rumination is to the mind. 

Thinking about the past is not a bad thing but if it becomes a thought process you can't stop and literally driving you crazy, it can affect your mental health and energy level.

I had this friend on facebook who had opened up about her pains from her broken relationship with her ex-boyfriend, she was always talking about her ex, every subject matter was about her ex, even the child she had for him reminded her of her ex. Any story that had a semblance of what happened between her and her ex triggers emotional outburst and pain and she seethe for days . Unfortunately for her because her ex lives in the same town, they always bump into each other and she would grow angry and upset spanning days, one particular episode almost led to brawl publicly when  she saw her ex with another girl he intended to marry. Even when her ex had reached out to her to see his son and co-parent she had turned it down and denied him access to his son. 

Every day was a different tale about her ex, the memory of her broken relationship ate at her badly,I tried all i can to help her shift her mindset away from her ex but she wasn't interested.

She was slipping into depression and stress. One morning I got a report she woke up from her bed, stood up and later slumped, before she was rushed to the hospital she  had died. I felt pained and wished she had chosen to seek help to deal with her rumination because , ruminating over a negative incidence over and over again is disastrous to one's health.

Rumination is a behaviour and not a mental health condition, its a circle of excessive worry which entails repeatedly returning to the same negative thoughts about an incidence. Can ruminating affect one's mental health? It can lead to.....

Depression and anxiety

Being in a constant state of fears and dreads.

Deep feeling of unhappiness.

Unable to focus.

Saps you of strength and energy.

Disrupt sleep pattern.

It can trigger eating disorder.

Mood swing.

Weight loss.

Lead to memory loss.

Substance abuse disorder.

Post traumatic stress disorder.

Pessimistic outlook to life.

Difficulty solving problems.

WAYS TO KICK THE HABIT OF RUMINATION

There are many thing you can do to break over thinking an incidence or what was said against you.

Ask yourself these questions.

Do you find yourself replaying unproductive thoughts?

Do you feel overwhelmed by your problems?

Do you find yourself constantly reacting to a same incidence as if its fresh? 

These are all the signs you are ruminating.Y

You can choose to shift your attention by taking a walk, listen to music, or watch a comical video or plan to see a friend and pour out your pains or feelings, or instead call a friend for a chitchat.

You can adopt rummination5mins, which simply means you are giving yourself permission to ruminate over that issue for only 5 mins daily, lets say at noon and you can begin to decrease the time as time goes on. You are reprogramming your mind to accept rumination only by midday, from there the mind can just shift it out anytime the thoughts comes in again.

Once you realize you starting to ruminate , allow the thought to come and watch it pass away when its done and think of something else.

You could also decide to be conscious once the thought comes in, imagine yourself press the delete or block button and tell it go away, you are not ready to think about it, blow it away.

Go on a meditation or mindfulness excercise with music or an affirmation ritual which  can help you shift the negative self talk to positive ones.

Sit and have a one on one conversation with yourself about how  you need to solve the rumination, if it was a betrayal , you can choose to take the decision to walk away,if it was a job loss, you can choose to revamp your CV and apply to other organisations.

If it was the loss of a loved one, have conversation with the supposed person as if he is by your side, sharing how you feel, the good ,the bad ,the ugly or if you hurt someone you can simply apologize or volunteer to make amends.

Another way  to deal with rumination is to change location to a place you truly can be happy perhaps at the beach, your favourite restaurant, or go for a spa or facials.

Deep breathing excercise and affirmations are powerful tool to deal with rumination. 

Beware of triggers that sets you on a high speed to rumination and avoid them, it could be people, places or conversations.

Try seeking help from a therapist if you can't stop the rumination, it would do you a whole world of good to have a professional help you out.

Watch your expectations about yourself.

its okay to give yourself permission to fail.

Its okay to be weak.

Its okay to feel down.

Its okay not to make it.

Its okay to be rejected.

You are human, its okay to fail .

If this write up was a blessing , pls feel free to comment or ask any question.

It's all about being the best version of yourself.